inside: 16 reasons to feed the strays · the show that got the cops called · a love letter to alley cats from a person on house arrest · pirate radio schedule for a frequency we will not XXXXXXX tell the FCC · WHY WE BIT THE LANDLORD (a manifesto)
I'm typing this on a typewriter that smells like a basement because it is, in a basement, in a house that does not belong to me and never will. I owe rent. The cat owes rent. My roommate, who is a raccoon — actually a raccoon, not a metaphor — owes rent. None of us are paying.
Last issue I said this magazine would never get political. I lied. I did not lie, I just had not yet been served papers, had not yet stood in the alley behind the food co-op at 1 am watching a small striped person open a clamshell take-out box more carefully than I have ever opened anything in my life. Watching her eat dignified me. I was the trash. She was the saint. The hierarchy I had been told my whole life simply flipped and I have not been able to flip it back.
So this issue is about the people the city wants to disappear — the unhoused friend who reads to the cat, the kid who got a citation for sleeping in the library, the masked bandit who knocked over my bin and taught me about interspecies solidarity, the bands who play for $5 and a place to sleep, the pirate broadcasters going out at 88.1 every night with no permission and no apology.
We are putting it out on paper because the internet is belongs to cops now. Paper you can press into a hand. Paper you can read in a holding cell. Paper does not have a back end where someone in a polo shirt decides what you are allowed to say about the mayor. paper, also, raccoons cannot read your data.
If you are reading this and you are scared — good. If you are reading this and you are bored — you are at the wrong show. Eat the rich. Feed the raccoons. See you in the alley.
HEAVENS TO MAGGIE (oly)
POLITE LITTLE FELON (pdx)
chickadeath (tac)
+ DJ Trashpanda btwn sets
@ THE BARN, 4th & J · OLY · BYO EARPLUGS
OUR FRIEND'S BAND
OUR OTHER FRIEND'S BAND
the kid w/ the cassette
+ free vegan chili if u bring a bowl
@ THE HOUSE U KNOW · TXT FOR ADDR
LANDBACK BLOC reading
PROCYON LOTOR (loud)
QUIET RIOT GIRRRL (quiet)
+ zine swap before doors
@ INFOSHOP / SLIDING SCALE / NO COPS
BIKINI WHEEL reunion (their first show in 11 yrs!!)
FUR/AGAINST FUR (DC)
HOT GLUE GUN MASSACRE
babynoiseband
+ raffle: a typewriter, a tape deck, a bag of plums
@ THE OLD VFW HALL / 5TH & STATE / WEAR LAYERS
AWFUL BOYFRIEND
BAD ROOMMATE
WORSE LANDLORD
@ THE COFFEEHOUSE — venue pulled the plug, see issue 8
ALL OF US, basically
+ fire in a barrel
+ a calendar to set on fire
@ THE OLD GAS STATION ON G ST
THE 5TH GRADE BAND
MS. PHELPS' UKE CIRCLE
storytime w/ a real raccoon
+ bake sale for prison phone funds
@ THE LIBRARY MEETING ROOM B · JUICE BOX BAR
HOMOCIDAL TENDENCIES (sf)
DYKE-A-SAURUS REX
baby gay punk (their first show!)
+ dance party after, til the cops are called or 2am
@ THE BLACK CAT / 21+ AFTER 11 / SOBER SUPPORT IN BACK
broadcasting from somewhere within a 4-mile radius of the food co-op, wed-sun, dusk till the breakers blow.
we are not on any directory. we are not on the FCC's list because the FCC's list is a list of cops. find us by tuning.
if the signal goes out it means we moved. wait an hour, try again.
stay weird, stay tuned →| WHEN | WHAT | WHO | SOUNDS LIKE |
|---|---|---|---|
| 19:00 | SHOWS UP / SHUTS UP | P. | opening rant. cassette of the week. someone calls the show, gets put on air with no warning. |
| 20:00 | DUMPSTER OF THE WEEK | Mara & Cheese | review of one (1) dumpster. food, vibes, bear factor, was a raccoon present. our flagship. |
| 21:00 | RENT IS THEFT HOUR | D. | tenant law explainer + 2 punk songs + an interview w/ someone who won. |
| 22:00 | QUIET HOURS | jr. | ambient + library voice. for the people on the night shift & the people who love them. |
| 23:00 | CHRIS' WHATEVER HOUR | chris | chris flaked again. we love chris. chris owes us a tape. |
| 23:00 | EMERGENCY POEMS | b. | filling in. b. reads ONE poem on a loop until midnight. we are not stopping her. |
| 00:00 | RACCOON HOUR | the editor | field recordings from the alley + readings from the zine + dedications. call in if you can find the number. |
| 02:00 | SIGN-OFF | whoever's left | nat'l anthem played on a kazoo. transmitter goes dark. see u tomorrow. |
posted to the door of city hall · 10/31/26 · taken down by 7am · we put it back up
"i found issue 5 in the bathroom of the greyhound station. i read it on the bus to my dad's house. i didn't know other people felt this way about the place we live. is it ok if i make my own zine. do i need permission. love, J."
"the raccoons are getting into my compost. you are part of the problem. the city should be involved. i have written to my councilperson."
"the photocopy quality on issue 6 was the worst it's ever been. the manifesto was unreadable on pages 8-11. i loved every smudge. don't ever clean it up. xoxo M."
"we played the dumpster ball '24 & you let us sleep on your floor. we're putting out a record. you're in the thank-yous as 'the people with the raccoon.' is that ok."
TRASHPANDA QUARTERLY is set in Special Elite, Anton, Bungee Stencil, Bungee, Cutive Mono, Caveat, Archivo Black, & Permanent Marker — assembled by hand, photocopied at 2¢/page on a borrowed Xerox 5018, stapled at the kitchen table.
EDITOR: P. Mascarpone · ART: the same person, lying about being two people · FACT-CHECK: none, sorry · SPELL-CHECK: the cat (Marcello, 14), who ate page 3 of the rough draft and so spelled it the way she ate it.
PRINT RUN: 312 copies. when we run out we will make more, w/ different mistakes. nothing here is © anyone. STEAL THIS ZINE. photocopy it. mail it to a friend in jail. read it on the bus until it falls apart.
NEXT ISSUE: spring 2026. theme: OPOSSUMS. submissions open. no word count. no rules. no AI-written letters, we can tell.
trashpandaquarterly.zine (if it loads)thanks for reading. now go outside. ♡